Family Feud: Estate Planning Edition – How to Prevent Your Kids from Fighting Over Your Care in Tulsa County

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I love my children, but when it comes to my future care, they’ll probably end up in a battle royale”? You’re not alone. As a Tulsa County wills and trusts law firm, we’ve seen countless families grapple with this exact concern. It’s the elephant in the room that many of us dread addressing:  What will happen when our adult children can’t see eye to eye on our care decisions?

Picture this: You’re in the hospital, unable to communicate your wishes. Suddenly, your hospital room becomes a war zone. One child insists on aggressive treatment, another advocates for comfort care, and a third is frantically searching for your bank statements. It’s a nightmare scenario that can keep anyone up at night.

The pain of imagining your children fighting over your care is real. It agitates our deepest fears about our own vulnerabilities and family harmony. Here’s the good news: you don’t have to sit back and wait for chaos to unfold. There are concrete steps you can take right now to prevent this episode of family feud from ever airing.

The Power of Proper Planning

While you may be certain that your family will have conflicts, proactive planning can help mitigate these issues. Here are some crucial steps to consider:

1. Create a Financial Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA): This legal document allows you to designate someone capable to make financial and legal decisions on your behalf if you are unable to do so.
2. Create a Health Care Power of Attorney (HCPOA): This tool designates a trusted decision maker to help you with medical decisions during your short-term or long-term incapacity.
3. Execute a HIPAA Authorization: This document details who has access to medical and insurance records. This is especially critical when you need help sharing information among medical specialists to coordinate complex care needs.
4. Establish an Advance Health Care Directive: This outlines your end-of-life wishes and decisions, reducing the potential for disagreements about your care in your final days.
5. Choose Your Representatives Wisely: The individuals you select for these roles should be people you deeply trust to have your best interests at heart. Don’t make the mistake of choosing a representative that isn’t in your best interest just to avoid hurt feelings. Your trusted decision-maker should be financially responsible, savvy about managing personal affairs, and also be capable of handling any family drama that may arise and not buckle under pressure. If you don’t have a friend or family member to act in this role, there are third party companies that specialize in this service.

Selecting the Right People

When choosing your durable power of attorney agent and health care proxy, consider these factors:

• Trust: Select someone who will respect and carry out your wishes, even if they disagree personally.

• Ability to Handle Conflict: Your chosen representative should be able to stand firm in the face of family disagreements.

• Communication Skills: They should be able to clearly explain your wishes to other family members and medical professionals.

• Availability: Choose someone who can realistically take on this responsibility when needed.

Remember, your POA and health care proxy don’t have to be the same person. In fact, sometimes it’s better to divide these responsibilities between two trusted individuals.

Open Communication is Key

While legal documents are crucial, open communication with your family can also help prevent conflicts. Consider having a family meeting to discuss your wishes and the reasoning behind your choices. This can help set expectations and reduce future surprises that may lead to conflict.

Seek Professional Guidance

Navigating these sensitive family dynamics while planning for your future can be challenging. A Tulsa County wills and trusts lawyer can provide invaluable guidance, helping you create a comprehensive plan that reflects your wishes and minimizes the potential for family conflict.

Remember, it’s natural to feel apprehensive about these issues, but taking action now can provide peace of mind for yourself and your loved ones. By clearly outlining your wishes and choosing the right representatives, you can significantly reduce the likelihood of family disputes during difficult times.

If you need assistance in creating an estate plan that addresses your unique family dynamics, we’re here to help. Contact us at 918-608-1836 or click here to schedule an appointment with a Tulsa County wills and trusts lawyer. We’ll be happy to discuss your specific situation and help you create a plan that protects your interests while promoting family harmony.