How to Talk to Your Family About Estate Planning During the Holidays

The holidays are right around the corner, bringing us opportunities to gather with family and loved ones. It is a time to slow down, catch up, and enjoy quality time together around the dinner table. It is also a great opportunity to review your estate plan and talk about the topic with your loved ones.

Do Not Be Indifferent

While estate planning can be a touchy subject, delaying the conversation is not good for you or your family. According to a Caring.com survey from 2017, nearly six in 10 Americans did not have a will. This is particularly concerning when considering the amount of wealth expected to transfer between generations in the coming years.

It is important for families to discuss estate planning well in advance of an emergency or life tragedy, while older family members are still physically and mentally healthy. Leaving the topic to chance can result in difficult and costly outcomes.

Time It Right

Not surprisingly, estate planning is not a topic that comes up in everyday conversation. Randomly telling your loved ones who will receive your assets when you die, or who will make decisions for you if you become incapacitated, is unlikely to make for a relaxing holiday conversation.

There are ways, however, to discuss estate planning during the holiday season with grace and tact. Choose a time when you and your loved ones can sit down together in a comfortable, calm, and private setting. Make sure everyone is relaxed and distractions are kept to a minimum so the conversation can stay on track.

Ideally, parents or older family members will bring up the subject. Sometimes, however, they may be reluctant to discuss estate planning. In that case, children may need to broach the subject. Asking where important papers and records are kept can be a good place to start.

Boundaries Are Important

Once you find the right time and place for the conversation, it can help to set some ground rules. Keep the discussion as open and respectful as possible. Give each family member an opportunity to share their thoughts, questions, and wishes.

Some topics you may want to discuss include:

• Letting your family know that you have a will or living trust that explains how your assets will be divided when you die or become incapacitated;
• Letting them know who will act as the executor of your will or trustee of your trust;
• Discussing who will serve as your agent under your financial power of attorney and patient advocate under your healthcare power of attorney; and
• Explaining to your family how to handle medical or long-term care situations, if necessary.

The specific names and requirements for these documents can vary by state. The American Bar Association provides information about powers of attorney and explains that state laws can differ.

Bottom Line

The holidays can be a good time to have important conversations with the people you love. Estate planning may not be the easiest topic to bring up, but having the conversation now can make things easier for your family later.

You do not have to cover every detail of your estate plan around the holiday dinner table. Simply letting your loved ones know that you have a plan, who may be responsible for helping you, and where they can find important documents can be a good place to start.

If you have been putting off an estate planning conversation with your family, the holidays may be a good time to start. We can help you create a plan that meets your family’s needs and gives you greater peace of mind for the future. Contact us to learn more about your estate planning options.